What Did I Do And Still Do To Be Happier Even When I am Going Thorough Suffering!!
I was a mum struggling with life and trying to change it to a more meaningful and fulfilling life. I really wanted to change my life so I wouldn’t have to continue living a life of mediocrity.
I wanted to feel happier, be the best role model for my children and live a life that gave me purpose and fulfilment.
The thing is, I needed to figure out what to do to change my life.
That meant I couldn’t feel happy, be the role model that I wanted for my children, let alone live a life that gave me purpose and fulfilment.
To make things worse, I felt terrible because deep down I knew I was not doing what I was meant for and I didn’t have the motivation to do anything different, I felt completely lost.
I felt even worse about the situation because I saw the years slipping away and I was just dragging myself through life.
I felt like a total failure and completely stuck.
The problem was that my environment including friends and family were the biggest obstacles in my life and dragging me down. Which meant that the pain of continuing living the same life was greater than all my obstacles, I didn’t want to lose anyone but at same time “they” were slowly killing my soul!
Which made me hit rock bottom, made me confront my own delusional reality and realize I was my own worst enemy.
Then, as if by chance, something amazing happened…
I felt a deeper calling, I sense of purpose that I had to do more and be more; and this was what I discovered to be the secret behind every successful person… confronting my own environment, self-limitations, limiting believes, fears, traumas and how to model others who have mastered the art of living became a must!!
It was now crystal clear to me how to free myself from my own chains and what tools I needed to use, because I saw that I was fully responsible for my own life and destiny, and I was the only person with the power to change my currently reality.
I also learned that letting people GO is an act of strength, an act of love for myself and them, I needed to start creating my own life…for every day that i do not intentionally create my life, someone else will create it for me, it is all about choices and free will — every moment I can choose differently.
As a result, I started changing my lifestyle immediately which created a momentum.
As I did that, I started feeling happier which then motivated me even more.
Suddenly, I was creating my days rather than reacting to them, internally I was more in control of my emotions and feelings even when surrounded by a storm.
That’s when I realized that the secret to change my life to a more meaningful one was within myself, I was my worst enemy and my own prisoner, I was the only one with the key to open the door and all along I had this key and blamed the world for being handcuffed.
My plan was to start studying, researching, and reading as much I could, model what many before us did and which they attributed their success entirely to.
So, I started creating my life plan. But I didn’t stop there.
I then broke that down into small action- implementation plans.
After that, I picked the top 10 tools that most successful people have used throughout the times, and I started implementing them into my own life in order to achieve my life plan goals.
But there was still a problem…
My life started to get better, and I started to become more and more clear with my vision and life goals as well as feeling more determined but at same time my marital relationship started collapsing (actually, it has been collapsing for years, but only now I had the awareness and courage to look as it was and not what I wanted to be).
Non negotiables become a priority to me, and I was no longer willing to tolerate to not have the foundation/ basics that any type of relationship should have, I was no longer willing to tolerate disrespect, abuse of any form, bullying, blackmail, control….
I decided that I was enough for my life, that I didn’t need anyone to make me happy because the pursuit of this very same thing was what made my life miserable.
I finally felt that I was ready to live the life that I have been wanting to live for years but this could also mean being alone, which was something I didn’t want but to go ahead I had to make a choice even if just internally, because both choices couldn’t coexist.
I felt ready to cut all the chains that made me a prisoner of my relationship including my needy needs but at same time I was crying for potentially losing that someone that I cared and loved so much more than I could ever thought, and I wanted to keep him forever.
However, I no longer wanted to be held back by my partners cowardice to stand up for his desires and beliefs because he cared more about what other people thought than his own happiness and until then I cared more about us being together than being happy.
It became very clear that I needed to follow my goals, dreams and live my authentic self and stop being a prisoner of my partner’s opinions and judgments.
This become the biggest hurdle because my partner didn’t have the courage to live his own life or our lives as a couple, he rather suffer in silence, suppress his desires, and pretend that his goals are the same as the ones given to him.
This made me be even more clear to what I didn’t want but most importantly to know what I wanted in life.
An urgency to live my life at my own terms came to me, I realized how little time I have left on this earth and that I have spent already a great portion of my life wasting it.
Every day it become a struggle from our two opposite minds with no definite answers…. But I couldn’t go back to our lives as it used to be …. I was too far into my journey, and I knew I deserved more from myself and life itself… I was too awake to be put back into a hypnotic sleep and be content with a trivial mundane life and accept loneliness and suffering as normal…I was sure I could have more even if it meant to be alone.
I ended up getting so frustrated that I decided to use the beginning of each day to focus on myself only; to work on my self-development and to trust the process that the answers will be revealed to me. Shifting my mindset from “us” to “me” and intentionally working on myself on daily basis, it changed my perspective, open other doors and showed me so many other possibilities; it also made me accept my fears rather than fearing them.
I created a daily ritual with tools to help me to succeed, tools that have existed for centuries and have been practiced by the few who dare to challenge the status quo and demand more from life….
These incredible people whom we treasure their knowledge and stories, have left clear manuals, maps and step by step instructions on what and how to do, to master the art of living; they dedicated their entire lives to leave us this incredible knowledge.
How privileged are we!
I chose to call it “The Perfect Morning Routine”.
I thought if I could create something that would make it possible to easily follow and integrate on our everyday lives and get results regardless of the problems and circumstances we might be facing, I’d be really happy.
After incorporating my morning rituals for over a year, attending many self-development courses, events, and reading many books on the subject, I created “The Perfect Morning Routine”.
I can follow my morning routine regardless how much time I have in the morning, it gives me the strength, clarity, vision, and determination to be myself and live my own life.
I then started sharing this with others and help them to implement the “The Perfect Morning Routine”.
As a result of all this, I and many others, were able to achieve the following:
Every morning I wake with a purpose to live my best life and create my best self.
Every morning I feel grateful, connected, and inspired.
Every morning I feel so lucky to be alive and determined to do more and be more.
Every day I feel so grateful and honoured to be called mummy.
Every day I remember that I have created the most magnificent miracle in life, I gave birth to life itself.
Every day I remember to care, nourish, and love my children because this is what I was made for.
Every day I am grateful for my husband, family, and friends because they add meaning to my life.
Every day I am grateful to be alive.
Every day I dare to care and love myself.
Every day I am working on my goals.
Every day I am determined to live my life, so I don’t have regrets when I leave.
Every day I am committed to exchange expectations for appreciation.
Every day I seek and follow the guidance of both living and non-living life masters.
The above is now an integral part of my life, because I decided to start my days with my morning routine.
My fulfilment comes in the from serving, serving my children, my husband, my family, my friends, and people in general.
I am here to love and give but also to let it go!
After creating the “The Perfect Morning Routine”, I was not only able to have this inner life trust and confidence, I guess that’s what they call inner peace.
I’ve also been able to stop destroying myself through suffering, self-inflicted pain and being at the mercy of others, because I know now, how to empower myself to create my own life.
And in the end, all of this simply means, I’m now able to look in the eyes of my 99-year-old self and say I am doing my best in trying to live my best life!!
So, my 99-year-old self can look back with a smile on her face and say that my life was a well lived life, with no regrets to hold on to.
And then, on her death bed, she can happily fall into her eternal sleep, knowing that her life made a difference and most importantly her life mattered!
Dying with no regrets should be our ultimate goal in life!
Now that we know our “end of life” self, is patiently waiting for us, and watching us, let’s make sure we bring to our final meeting, a life full of love and dreams fulfilled; a life without regrets, a life that was worthy living!
Are you ready? We must start now, this very moment, it only takes a decision followed by commitment!
Reach out to me if I can help you in any way!!!
Thank You!
Tatiana xx
